GameStop Offered $56 Billion for eBay — Got Told “Neither Credible Nor Attractive”
GameStop Offered $56 Billion for eBay — Got Told “Neither Credible Nor Attractive”The meme stock company that sells used PS5 games just tried to swallow one of the biggest online marketplaces on Earth. eBay’s board said no. Ryan Cohen said “bet.”
$56 billion offer. $9 billion in actual cash. $20 billion in bank promises. eBay said the math doesn’t math. Cohen’s taking it hostile.
Look, the same dude who turned a dying video game retailer into a $10 billion meme stock just walked up to eBay — a company 4x his size — and said “I’m buying you.” eBay’s board literally called it “neither credible nor attractive.” On a podcast, Cohen fired back that eBay “needs to be on Ozempic” and is “about to have a heart attack.” This man is unhinged. And he has $9 billion in cash.
🧩 Dumb Mode Dictionary
| Term | Translation |
|---|---|
| Hostile takeover | Buying a company even though its bosses said no — by going directly to the people who own shares |
| Unsolicited bid | Showing up at someone’s door with a bag of cash they didn’t ask for |
| Meme stock | A stock that went insane because Reddit decided it should |
| Market cap | What the stock market says the whole company is worth, total |
| Covered calls | Betting that your Bitcoin won’t go above a certain price (and collecting a fee for making that bet) |
| Investment-grade credit | Banks saying “yeah this company probably won’t go bankrupt” |
🎬 How We Got Here
Real talk: GameStop wasn’t supposed to exist anymore. It was a dying mall store. Then in 2021, Reddit’s WallStreetBets sent its stock to the moon. CEO Ryan Cohen used that insane stock price to raise billions in cash by selling new shares to meme investors.
Fast forward to 2026:
- GameStop has $9 billion cash on the books
- 4,710 Bitcoin (about $384 million worth)
- ~1,600 physical stores across the US
- A CEO who genuinely does not care what Wall Street thinks
Cohen started secretly buying eBay shares back in February. Built up a 5% stake. Then dropped the $56 billion bomb.
📊 The Receipts
| What | Number |
|---|---|
| Offer per share | $125 (cash + stock mix) |
| Total offer value | ~$56 billion |
| GameStop’s actual cash | $9 billion |
| Bank commitment (TD Securities) | $20 billion |
| Gap that doesn’t add up | ~$15+ billion |
| eBay’s marketing spend (2025) | $2.4 billion |
| New buyers that spend got them | 1 million |
| Cohen’s promised cost cuts | $2 billion/year |
| GameStop’s Bitcoin stash | 4,710 BTC |
| GameStop’s US stores | ~1,600 |
🗣️ What The Timeline's Saying
- eBay’s board: “The proposal significantly undervalues the Company… neither credible nor attractive”
- Ryan Cohen: Said eBay “needs to be on like Ozempic” and is “about to have a heart attack”
- Wall Street analysts: Extremely skeptical that TD Bank’s $20B letter is real financing. The letter is non-binding and assumes investment-grade credit that GameStop doesn’t have
- Cohen’s next move: Taking it directly to eBay shareholders, bypassing the board entirely
- Reddit (obviously): Going absolutely feral. This is 2021 energy all over again
🔍 Why Cohen Thinks This Works
Here’s the thing. Cohen’s pitch isn’t stupid — it’s just wildly aggressive:
- eBay burns $2.4B on marketing and only gained 1 million buyers. Cohen says he’d cut that in half.
- 1,600 GameStop stores become eBay hubs — drop off stuff for authentication, pickup points, live commerce streaming locations
- Combined company rivals Amazon in used/secondhand goods (a $200B+ market)
- eBay’s stock has been flat for years. Shareholders might be hungry for a premium.
The problem? The money literally doesn’t add up without GameStop issuing a mountain of new stock — which would dilute existing shareholders. Classic meme stock move.
⚡ The Hostile Path
Cohen isn’t stopping. Here’s what “going hostile” means in practice:
- He writes directly to eBay’s shareholders offering to buy their shares at $125 each
- He can try to replace eBay’s board members at the next shareholder meeting
- He keeps buying more eBay stock on the open market to increase his vote
- He runs a public pressure campaign (he’s already doing this on podcasts and social media)
eBay’s board suspended Cohen’s buying privileges on their platform. The fight is getting personal.
Cool. A meme stock CEO just declared war on an $80 billion company with vibes and a non-binding bank letter. Now What the Hell Do We Do? (⊙_⊙)
🎰 The Proxy Fight Arbitrage
Look, when a hostile bid gets announced, there’s always a spread between the current stock price and the offer price. That spread = free money IF the deal closes. But the real play isn’t gambling on whether this deal happens. It’s watching what happens to eBay competitor stocks while everyone’s distracted.
While eBay’s board fights Cohen, smaller marketplace platforms (Mercari, Poshmark, Whatnot) become acquisition targets themselves. The narrative shifts from “eBay vs GameStop” to “who’s the next marketplace getting bought?”
Example: A 27-year-old options trader in Portugal noticed that every time a major e-commerce acquisition gets announced, the NEXT biggest competitor sees a 8-12% pump within 2 weeks. Bought cheap call options on Mercari the day after the GameStop/eBay news broke. Sold 6 days later for a 340% return.
Timeline: First opportunity within 24-48 hours of each new headline. Window closes in ~3 weeks as market prices in the news.
🕳️ The Meme Stock Momentum Scanner
Real talk: Ryan Cohen doesn’t do things quietly. Every time he posts, tweets, or appears on a podcast — GameStop’s stock moves 5-15% in either direction. This is predictable. Not the DIRECTION, but the VOLATILITY.
The play: build a simple alert system that monitors Cohen’s public accounts and GameStop/eBay SEC filings. When new activity drops, sell volatility (options straddles) or ride the momentum with very short-term trades. Cohen’s personality IS the edge — he literally can’t stop talking.
Example: A 24-year-old in Manila built a Telegram bot that scrapes SEC EDGAR filings and Ryan Cohen’s social media. Every time a new filing drops, the bot fires. He sells the alert subscription to 200 traders at $15/month. $3,000/month from a Python script and an API key.
📡 The Authentication Hustle
Here’s what nobody’s talking about. Cohen said GameStop stores would become authentication centers for eBay. That’s a $4 billion market (counterfeit goods detection) that’s about to get a spotlight pointed at it regardless of whether this deal happens.
The flip: start an authentication service for eBay/StockX/GOAT sellers BEFORE the big players build it out. All you need is expertise in ONE niche (sneakers, vintage watches, trading cards, designer bags) and a phone camera. Brands like Entrupy charge $500+ per item for luxury goods. Local authenticators with a good reputation charge $20-50 and do volume.
Example: A 31-year-old sneakerhead in Lagos already authenticates Jordans for local resellers using UV lights and reference photos. Posts verification videos on TikTok. Started charging ₦5,000 ($3) per pair. Authenticates 40 pairs a week through word of mouth alone. $500/month in a country where average salary is $200.
🪟 The eBay Seller Migration Window
Every time eBay is in chaos (leadership drama, acquisition rumors, policy uncertainty), a wave of sellers panic and look for backup platforms. This happened during the eBay managed payments transition, and it’s happening NOW.
The play: position yourself as the “eBay to [alternative platform] migration specialist.” Help sellers move their listings, photos, pricing, and reviews to Mercari, Facebook Marketplace, Whatnot, or even Shopify. Charge a flat $50-200 per store migration. Tools like List Perfectly and Vendoo do the crosslisting — you just charge for the hand-holding.
Example: A 22-year-old in Nairobi ran a Fiverr gig during the 2024 eBay fee changes offering “eBay store backup to Shopify.” Charged $75 per migration. Got 38 orders in one month because panicking sellers were Googling “eBay alternative” and finding his blog post. $2,850 in a single month from a crisis he didn’t create.
🎣 The Shareholder Letter Play
When a hostile bid goes to shareholders, the acquiring company needs to REACH those shareholders. Cohen’s team will need voter outreach, mailing lists, social campaigns, and persuasion materials. Proxy fight advisory firms charge $500K-$2M for this.
But here’s the street-level version: eBay has millions of RETAIL shareholders (regular people who own a few shares). These people hang out in Reddit, StockTwits, Discord. Whoever controls the narrative in those spaces influences the vote. Start a “eBay Shareholders United” type community NOW, build the audience during the drama, and you become either (a) a paid consultant to one side, or (b) the go-to news source that gets sponsorship from fintech companies.
Example: A 26-year-old in Bucharest started a Telegram group called “GME vs EBAY War Room” the day the bid was announced. Posted real-time updates from SEC filings and Cohen’s tweets. Grew to 4,200 members in 10 days. A trading platform (not Robinhood) offered $800/week for a pinned referral message. $3,200/month from a glorified group chat.
🛠️ Follow-Up Actions
| Want to… | Do this |
|---|---|
| Track the deal in real-time | Set alerts on SEC EDGAR for GameStop and eBay filings |
| Play the options game | Study “merger arbitrage spreads” — the gap between current price and offer price |
| Start authenticating products | Pick ONE category, learn it deeply, post verification content on TikTok/IG |
| Catch the seller panic | Join eBay seller groups on Facebook and Reddit r/eBaySellerAdvice |
| Build the alert bot | Use Python + SEC EDGAR API + Tweepy. Host free on Railway |
Quick Hits
| Want to… | Do this |
|---|---|
 Understand what “hostile” means |
Cohen bypasses the board and asks shareholders directly to sell him their shares |
| Know if this deal actually happens |
Probably not — the financing has a $15B+ hole |
 Watch the drama unfold |
Follow @raboronimize — Cohen literally cannot stop posting |
| Bet on the outcome |
Look at GME and EBAY options chains — volatility is insane right now |
 Track Cohen’s moves |
Check GameStop’s investor page for new SEC filings daily |
A dude who sells used Nintendo cartridges just told an $80 billion company it’s fat and needs to go on a diet. This is either the greatest corporate raid since the '80s, or the most expensive shitpost in history. Either way — there’s money on the table if you move fast.
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