How to buy CRYPTO 💰anonymously (WITH CASH IRL)

Tutorials & Methods
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NOTE: Both Bisq and Localcoinswap provide cash by mail choices. You will only use these services if you are uninformed and lazy (sorry, just being honest). Never give cash to the post office! When you send an ordinary envelope, they either steal it, or they monitor your face and ID when you send a priority mail envelope. AI logs and scans ALL addresses (sender to recipient), storing the information in massive databases that are being used to build a digital social credit score system based on all purchases that will impact every part of your life. This will probably happen in full effect between 2030 or 2040.

Get your tinfoil hats on. The world is going to hell in a hand basket, brothers and sisters! But don’t worry, Ultra Rebel will teach you how to quadruple layer your tinfoil. By compartmentalizing, we hope to lead two entirely independent and isolated lives. We need to keep our alter egos as anonymous as possible. You don’t think so? The shadow government’s banking goal is creating a central bank digital currency that is defi, p2p, but not anonymous (i.e., everyone knows everything about everyone else’s finances on the blockchain); efforts are already underway in the United States Congress to monitor, track, and restrict all cryptocurrency-related purchases.

They intend to achieve this by outlawing or strictly regulating privacy coins like Monero. Navigate to legislation under Congress(dot)gov, then select “finance/commerce” as a filter. Then, search for terms like “privacy coins,” “crypto/currency,” “tumblers,” “digital currency,” “digital currency exchanges,” “defi currency,” and so on. Everyone who is saying, “Bro, they don’t care lol you’re just a small time buyer!” THINK AGAIN. By 2030, it will be illegal for NATURAL PERSONS [read: NON-BUSINESSES/TRUSTS], to own cumulative cryptocurrency assets over $1000 (see the 2030 Agenda, Congress dot gov). Avoid being added to more lists than you need to be! Therefore, we must act as if buying crypto is currently illegal. No short cuts! So let’s go on to the comprehensive advice, which should enable you remain anonymous.

  1. Make a low-cost anti-surveillance cap that will block eye measurement scanning and polygon face recognition on security cameras. Since this device uses infrared light to identify you in all lighting circumstances, it will essentially make the multibillion dollar NSA spying program TrapWire into a piece of garbage.
  • The 1990s may have been a good time to wear a cap and face mask, but the future is now, dude! We must become more advanced. I’ll show you this.
  • Purchase an inexpensive, unremarkable baseball cap from a thrift store or small business with few cameras (preferably walk there or visit a place outside of town).
  • The best place to purchase LED IR reflective light strips is a cycling shop, which has LED tire light strips.
  • Attach the lights beneath the brim of the cap using fabric adhesive, which may be purchased at a hardware store or upholstery shop. It’s okay to have three or four lights in front, but I also put two on either side of the brim. Some light strips require batteries, which you must insert inside the cap’s inner fold and then run an electrical line through.
  • Cameras will only be able to view a bright light after you’re done, not your face. Only the weak glow of the LED lights will be visible to other people.
    NOTE: use a bicycle to justify your strange new hat as being for night riding. Ride this instead of an auto as it also avoids license plate scanning, which happens much more often than you assume.
  1. Purchase a pair of inexpensive wrap-around sunglasses that we will fix up.
  • Buy a pair that covers as much of the eye area as possible, including the shape of the eyebrow
  • apply paper tape (less adhesive residue) to the inner and outer lenses to minimize paint overflow in next step
  • now spray paint the frame a different color than the one you purchased (ultra paranoid opsec)
  • allow it to dry before removing the tape while you then locate an off-color sharpie marker (NOT silver or black!).
  • color multiple layers over the outer lens film until it is both impossible for others to see your eyes from the outside and easy for you to see through the lenses to the outside world.

ALT I’m testing my own homemade frames for IR light-reflecting glasses right now; if there’s enough demand, I’ll start selling them on DNMs! Because it obscures your entire face, this would eliminate the need for previous two steps
Naturally, this is a great addition to any DNM user’s wardrobe, especially for those of you who are scammers ;).

  1. Create or purchase a anti-emf bag (google search).

  2. Use your disguise (see above) and a fullz to purchase a burner phone at a Walgreens or CVS outside of town.

  • Purchase a one-month LTE subscription with cash or a gift card (wipe your fingerprints from them before) and put your phone in a faraday bag right away.
  • Don’t bring your own phone with you; leave it turned on at home.
    NOTE: Never turn on the burner and remove the bag near your house or your actual phone!

ALT If you already have some Monero, you can buy an anonymous eSIM instead. Make sure to buy a newer unlocked iPhone from craigslist with cash, as these mobiles can store up to 8 eSIMs

– YOUR DISGUISE SHOULD NOW BE AS FOLLOWS –
special hat
mod sunglasses
anti emf bag
burner phone
covid mask
bicycle

  1. Look for gas stations with cash2btc machines in a nicer part of a distant city (go to the cash2btc website over Tor Relay)
  • in good neighborhoods, these machines simply ask for your phone number and don’t ask for your ID, which is why you have burner phone.

  1. Purchase a bus ticket to the city using Fullz and Burner, making care to always wear your disguise and leaving your actual phone at home.

  2. Remove all fingerprints off the cash, then apply three layers of liquid skin to your fingers. Finally, apply NON WATER WASHABLE clear glue on top because we don’t want the perspiration from our palms and finger tips to melt off the mixture. NO PRINTS!

  3. Use public transit with…

  • Disguise
  • bike (to be placed on bus rack)
  • Common pants with pockets, such as jeans
    The following should be in pockets:
    = cash, which can be optionally kept in a coin envelope within a hidden pocket sewed into the inside seam of your leg.[Clean off bills at home; just the cash, no wallet, no ID]
    = burner phone (always kept in a anti emf bag)

  1. When you exit the bus at your stop, stealthily remove your phone from your anti emf bag and switch it on while you make your way to the petrol station (give yourself some time between each step).

  2. When you arrive at the gas station, have your burner phone ready.
    NOTE: Always use gloves and a disguise when using the phone; it uses facial recognition. The microphone and camera are constantly on!

  3. The machine will walk you through a series of simple instructions.

  • When prompted, enter the burner phone number
  • when a code is sent, enter it into the machine
  • choose “create a new paper wallet” (a paper wallet will be printed for you)
  • use the machine to scan the QR code on the paper wallet; deposit all of your money (I’m not sure how much I can deposit before it requests identification; I was able to deposit nearly $500 before calling it just to be safe)
  • and now, CONVERT TO LTC NOT BTC because of transaction fees.

  1. Retrace your steps

  2. Import the paper wallet key to a NEW wallet seed after a few days.

  3. Use instant exchangers to gradually convert the LTC into Monero, then deposit it into a Monero wallet.

Congrats! You’ve now just purchased crypto without kyc, with cash, irl. Fuck cash in mail and fuck government corporate globohomo spyware

Peace

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