Artemis II Just Broke Apollo 13’s Distance Record — Then Named a Crater After a Dead Wife
Artemis II Just Broke Apollo 13’s Distance Record — Then Named a Crater After a Dead WifeFour astronauts, a broken toilet, a 53-year-old record, and one of the most human moments in spaceflight history.
252,756 miles from Earth. 4,111 miles farther than Apollo 13 ever got. First crewed lunar mission in 54 years.
Honestly, I thought the coolest part would be the record. Then a Navy pilot named a moon crater after his dead wife on live TV and I had to close my laptop for a minute.
🧩 Dumb Mode Dictionary
| Term | Translation |
|---|---|
| Free-return trajectory | You aim at the Moon, swing around it, and gravity yeets you back to Earth — no extra fuel needed |
| SLS (Space Launch System) | NASA’s mega-rocket that took 15 years and $23B+ to build. It’s basically a Saturn V with a credit card problem |
| Orion | The capsule sitting on top of SLS. The crew named theirs “Integrity,” which is bold for a government project |
| Lunar flyby | Getting close enough to the Moon to photograph it but not landing. Like driving past your ex’s house |
| Loss of signal (LOS) | 40 minutes where the Moon blocks all communication with Earth. The astronauts are just… alone |
| UWMS | Universal Waste Management System. It’s a $30M space toilet. It broke on day 3 |
📖 Backstory: 54 Years Is a Long Time to Not Go Back
- The last time humans went anywhere near the Moon was Apollo 17 in December 1972. Nixon was president. The internet didn’t exist.
- Artemis II launched April 1, 2026 from Kennedy Space Center — and no, the date wasn’t lost on anyone.
- The previous distance record (248,655 miles from Earth) was set by Apollo 13 in 1970 — a mission that almost killed its crew.
- Artemis II beat that by 4,111 miles, reaching 252,756 miles at peak distance.
- This is a flyby, not a landing. Artemis III (planned for late 2027) will attempt the actual surface return.
👨🚀 The Crew: Every Seat Is a First
| Astronaut | Role | Historic First |
|---|---|---|
| Reid Wiseman (50) | Commander | Former NASA Chief Astronaut, Navy test pilot |
| Victor Glover (49) | Pilot | First Black astronaut on a lunar mission |
| Christina Koch (47) | Mission Specialist | First woman on a lunar mission |
| Jeremy Hansen (50) | Mission Specialist | First Canadian (and first non-American) on a lunar mission |
Koch already held the record for longest continuous spaceflight by a woman — 328 days on the ISS in 2019. Glover flew on SpaceX’s first operational Crew Dragon mission. Hansen had never been to space before this.
🔢 The Numbers That Matter
| Stat | Value |
|---|---|
| Max distance from Earth | 252,756 miles (406,780 km) |
| Previous record (Apollo 13) | 248,655 miles |
| Margin over old record | 4,111 miles |
| Closest approach to Moon | ~4,067 miles above the surface |
| Communication blackout | 40 minutes behind the Moon |
| Reentry speed | ~25,000 mph (40,000 km/h) |
| Mission duration | 10 days (April 1–10, 2026) |
| Cost of the toilet that broke | ~$30M |
🚽 Yes, the Toilet Broke
Honestly, you can’t make this up. On Day 3, about 200,000 miles from Earth, the Orion’s only toilet stopped working. Flight Director Judd Frieling told reporters: “It appears to me that we probably have some frozen urine in the vent line.”
The crew had to use backup urine collection bags (basically space diapers) while mission control troubleshot the issue remotely. It was eventually fixed. But for a solid stretch, four people hurtling toward the Moon at 25,000 mph were peeing into bags. Some things never change — Apollo astronauts didn’t even have a toilet.
💔 The Crater Named Carroll
Okay but seriously — this is the part that got me.
Commander Reid Wiseman’s wife, Carroll Taylor Wiseman, died on May 17, 2020. When the crew reached the far side of the Moon and spotted an unnamed crater, Wiseman proposed naming it “Carroll.” The crew radioed back: “Integrity and Carroll Crater, loud and clear.”
They also proposed naming another crater “Integrity” after their spacecraft. Both names will be formally submitted to the International Astronomical Union for approval. The crew shared a group hug afterward.
The far side of the Moon had never been seen with human eyes before this mission. And the first thing they did was name part of it after someone they loved.
🗣️ Reactions: From Twitter to Mission Control
- Jeremy Hansen (from the cabin): “From the cabin of Integrity here, as we surpass the furthest distance humans have ever traveled from planet Earth, we do so in honoring the extraordinary efforts and feats of our predecessors.”
- Simon Helberg (Howard Wolowitz from Big Bang Theory) posted a callback joke about the toilet malfunction that went mega-viral
- CNN ran a headline that read: “More than halfway to the moon, the Artemis II astronauts grappled with a toilet problem” — which is technically accurate and deeply funny
- The crew also witnessed a total solar eclipse from inside Orion during the lunar flyby. No one on Earth could see it from that angle.
🌑 What They Saw That No One Else Has
During the flyby, the crew photographed regions of the lunar far side that had only ever been imaged by robots. On Day 3, a crewmember captured a photo of the Orientale basin — a massive impact structure on the Moon’s western limb that’s never been seen directly by human eyes until now.
The 40-minute communication blackout while passing behind the Moon meant the crew was truly alone. No radio. No mission control. Just four people, the far side, and silence.
Cool. Humans are going back to the Moon and naming craters after dead wives while their toilet is broken. Now What the Hell Do We Do? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
📱 Build an Artemis II Mission Tracker Dashboard
Real-time space data is publicly available and most people have no idea. NASA’s APIs serve telemetry, trajectory data, and mission status for free. Build a dashboard that tracks Artemis II (and future missions) with live position data, countdowns, and milestone alerts.
Example: A frontend dev in Pune, India built a Chandrayaan-3 tracker during India’s lunar mission using NASA Horizons API + React. It got 40K users in a week and landed him a job at ISRO’s outreach division.
Timeline: 1 weekend to build MVP, 2 weeks to polish. NASA Open APIs are free with an API key.
🎓 Create a 'Space Firsts' Educational Content Series
Artemis II is stacked with historic firsts — first woman, first Black astronaut, first Canadian on a lunar mission. There’s massive demand for short-form explainer content (TikTok, YouTube Shorts, Reels) that breaks down the significance without the PR fluff.
Example: A science teacher in Lagos, Nigeria started a “Space for Africa” YouTube channel during Artemis I, covering why African nations should care about lunar missions. She hit 120K subscribers in 8 months and monetizes via Patreon + speaking gigs at schools.
🛠️ Sell 3D-Printed Artemis / Orion Models
Every major space mission creates collector demand. The Orion capsule, SLS rocket, and even the “Carroll Crater” naming moment are all printable, sellable moments. Etsy and direct-to-consumer shops for space memorabilia do extremely well during active missions.
Example: A maker in Gdansk, Poland sold 3D-printed SpaceX Starship models on Etsy during the IFT-3 launch window. He moved 800 units at $35 each (~$28K) in 6 weeks, with $4 in filament per unit.
📝 Write the 'Artemis Toilet Saga' Longform Piece
Okay but seriously — the history of space toilets is genuinely hilarious and nobody’s written the definitive piece. Apollo bags, the 2021 SpaceX urine tube debacle, and now frozen pee on Artemis II. There’s a Substack/Medium article here that writes itself. Space + bathroom humor = clicks.
Example: A freelance journalist in Melbourne, Australia wrote a longform piece on the history of ISS plumbing for Ars Technica in 2023. It got 2M views, became their most-shared science piece that quarter, and she landed a recurring column.
💰 Launch a Space Mission Newsletter for Non-Nerds
Most space coverage assumes you already know what a trans-lunar injection burn is. There’s a gap for a newsletter that covers missions like Artemis II the way sports newsletters cover games — plain English, highlights, drama, personalities.
Example: A copywriter in São Paulo, Brazil launched “Foguete” (Portuguese for “rocket”), a weekly space newsletter for general audiences. 15K subscribers in 4 months, monetized at $5/month premium tier. She credits the Artemis II hype cycle for her launch timing.
🛠️ Follow-Up Actions
| Action | Tool/Resource | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Get NASA API key | api.nasa.gov (free) | 5 minutes |
| Track Artemis II live | nasa.gov/artemis-ii or NASA app | Now |
| Download Orion 3D files | NASA 3D Resources (free .STL files) | 10 minutes |
| Research crater naming process | IAU naming conventions (iau.org) | 30 minutes |
| Set up space newsletter | Beehiiv or Substack (free tier) | 1 hour |
| Build mission tracker | NASA Horizons API + any frontend framework | 1 weekend |
Quick Hits
| Want… | Do… |
|---|---|
| Watch the splashdown live |
NASA TV, April 10 at 8:07 PM EDT |
 See far-side Moon photos |
NASA Artemis II image gallery (updating daily) |
| Understand the trajectory |
Search “Artemis II free return trajectory” on Scientific American |
 Build with space data |
api.nasa.gov — free API key, real telemetry |
 Read about Carroll Crater |
space.com coverage of the naming ceremony |
They flew 252,756 miles from home, broke a 53-year-old record, and the first thing they named was grief.
!